Thursday afternoon after chemo - side bar

Hello there,

I hope that all is well with you as you read this.

I don't know why for some reason that I can't count days and weeks lately. I have three weeks of chemotherapy to go through. Originally I was expecting 5 to 6 weeks, but it was cut short. Maybe because my test results came back great from the blood work and the PET scan.

I have emailed the fabulous Dr. Thomas Hyde, my oncologist to find out if we can get together for the next step. I might only need one round, but if I continue to need more. I am hoping that it will be another three weeks. If it is only for three more weeks, I will be able to  complete it before moving to Daytona Beach, Florida on June 27th.

Good news, bad news... all depends upon one's point of view. This round of chemotherapy is to stomp out any loose and running around cancer cells free floating in my body.

Do I feel like a cancer patient? Granted this was never a part of my plan.... EVER! I have never expected to say that I am a cancer fighter, never mind a cancer survivor!

I do have two people specifically to thank for their direct experience and a few people who were the support team.

Caswell Forrest and my brother Stephen Bernard who both had different cancers. Stephen survived with a lot of chemotherapy treatment and radiation. Caswell Forrest who lost his fight against a cancer that was so aggressive that the doctors were at a lost for what to do.

When I officially was diagnosed with testicular cancer, I spoke to my brother Stephen. He went through experimental cancer treatment for throat cancer. He has survived and is after many years back to working. His advice is to go through the chemotherapy. It means a lot to me to get his blessing. It might not seem like a blessing on the outside of it. Pump your body full of chemicals in hopes of killing some fast growing cells.

Yet treatment now is so far away from original cancer treatment of a lot of radiation and chemotherapy drugs that bring a person close to death, in the hopes that the body will bounce back. Not everyone made it back to health with this regime.

As to Caswell who lost his fight, if it wasn't for him. I wouldn't have learned about what to eat or not eat during this time. The food I eat now is healthier, to extra sugars and fats that have been added into  foods and meats. The chemo drugs that I am taking can push your sugars to the point of being diabetic. Something that I know I have repeated many, many times. Eat more high fiber because the drugs will bind and much up the intestinal system. The better details are nasty.... but ask me personally.

Now to the people who are/were the personal support:

My parents Jude and Nilda Bernard and Agnes Bernard (sister in law), they were with Stephen  from start to finish.

Roland Waters who stood and fought to keep Caswell healthy and alive for as long as possible.

Being the support system for anyone with an illness takes just as much out of you as much as out of the person who is sick. Worry, concern, being upset, fighting for the best choice of that person.

Well, this is only going to be a short entry. I am very tired and just have enough energy to watch tv... and nothing heavy.

Hugs to everyone!

Jude