The new look, well at least for a while....
Dr. Hyde said that I would start losing my hair the second week. It didn't start happening until the start of the third week (though told it was a bit earlier). The past two days in the shower an extra rinse off was required to get rid of the hair that was falling out. My bathrobe felt all itchy. My clothes and pillow had more hair on them, then a Wookie!
So the decision was made. This is just the first step in trimming it down to nothing. Step two is going to take a razor to it. Knit caps tend to have this Velcro effect on my head right now.
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The start of all this was some what of a surreal dream, with the only way that I could cope and or deal with anything is by treating everything as if it was just another allergy attack. Taking one step at a time and fully telling the doctors that, yes I do hear and understand everything. I am going to sit happily in the delusion that this is not what it is until it is. Facing the reality of everything was too much to deal with as everything moved forward in a herky jerky motion.
Talk to the MD, who arranged an ultrasound and the urologist..... wait a week.
See the Urologist, surgery in two days and wait for your results.
The urologist who gave my the preliminary pathology report on that Friday was not my surgeon. He did his best to make it a good report. He was up beat and that for a cancer this was one of the best ones to get! Totally curable! ....all I heard was cancer.
Wait again to see an oncologist, a screw up in the scheduling and my initial appointment was cancelled and given to someone else. Lose your place, wait a week.... or more. Placed on a call list for the next available cancelled appointment. Introduced to Dr. Hyde who got a CT Scan scheduled.
May 12th started chemotherapy.
My feelings during this time? I was actually fearful to show them and let them be known. Living in a house where there is already so much grief and woe. Adding more to it felt wrong and irresponsible. The emotions came out anyway in small bursts here and there. It has not been easy to deal with Iit all, but one does soldier on.
