It has been a while since I have written here.
Being down in Florida has been a bit of a bipolar experience for me. There have been wonderful things that have happened here. There have been plenty of not so wonderful things that have happened here as well too.
There are many things that are wrong with the state of Florida because of the political and social process that is down here. The governor leads the parade of "Let's take money from the state of Florida to pay for things that are going to be of no benefit to the state."
Well regardless, the past couple of weeks have been something of a roller coaster ride. Last week, I felt the coming of a panic attack. So this guy here ends up crying and hugging a teddy bear under the blankets in bed. Yes, there were things to do to stop it. They just didn't happen. So this past week, has been one of popping St. John's wort like Tic Tacs on a date. There have been surges this weekend. Also to kick into the mix has been the thought of suicide. Stopping you right there, it is not something that I am going to do. My son and my dog are too important to me, and living for them is a part of my life.
The event of moving to Palm Springs CA appears to have a few snags that are happening along the way. Mainly it is selling this place. People can get past the dollar amount of what it takes to live here, because the total price isn't hidden. Yet the advice of what I have been getting has been a mixed bag of honest information. Most of it has been self serving.
What it comes down to is that it is going to take more work to get out of here than originally planned. Also, there might be a lesson that is needed to be learned during the time spent here. Lessons that are known about in life, but haven't been faced down as of yet. Decisions need to be made.
One of the things that I am going to have to consider if I am going to be staying down here longer than I have wanted to is the whole dating scene. There are places where there are a greater population of gay people. Daytona Beach is not so high on the population density list. Then there is the issue about age. I would like to find someone closer to my age then just 15 to 20 years apart.
More decisions.
What happens when the panic, a nervous break down and growing up meet at a dinner for coffee. Also... mainly for now.. to let everyone know what is going on in my head and how much I could not be doing this without them.
