Penance for going to bed early, early wake up

"Early to bed, early to rise. Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." Ben Franklin

This from a man who knew his way in and out of a corset in seconds.

It has been a couple of days since I have written anything, it has taken me this amount of time to bounce back.

On Tuesday I received my bleomycin shot. It was a good day. The blood work came back as great! I have even lost the water weight I have gained from last week. I am walking as much as I can, but it is all this healthy eating!

Well anyway... Tuesday evening, I had started getting cold and was starving. I ate and ate some more. Looking back, maybe a couple of the choices were not so on target. I was sore and tired and hurting. My fingers on my left arm were tingling and the arm itself was sore. My toes on both feet were tingling. I started shivering in bed uncontrollably. The shivering moved to shaking, from shaking to the thought that I wasn't going to die of cancer. I was going to die of chemotherapy!

Yes, looking back on it. I was a bit over dramatic, but, I was scared and feeling very much alone.

Shane was walking back and forth on the bed and whining. He didn't know what to do to comfort me. It is usually the other way around in of man/dog relationship.

I called Roland to come up stairs and put some blankets on me. He came running upstairs with a blanket and then got more out from the hall linen closet. He covered me. And while I look at it as being not one of the better moments in my life, shaking from being cold in bed, crying and thinking that my world is not going to see the morning sun. It is also not something to be ashamed of either. I am fortunate to have someone there for me.

Over and over, I get told. There is nothing wrong with a little bit of self pity when you are seriously sick. One needs to conserve your strength and push forward in working on getting better. So if that means that your self built tower of strength falls into a puddle of tears and shaking. This is what you need to do. It is a lesson I am learning.

Roland didn't leave until I fell asleep.

Wednesday, I just took it easy. No doing anything strenuous outside of a cup of coffee, re-read my medical information. Realize that Tuesday night is an expected side effect of the bleomycin. It is good to be reminded, that it is just par for the course.

I have one more shot coming next Tuesday. I also have my picc line removed from my arm on the same day. For me, this will be the end of the chemotherapy for a while unless testing proves otherwise down the road.

One new thing that we did learn on Wednesday morning. The buyers for the house pulled out. They couldn't get more off on the house with the inspection, so they are now looking at other properties. It has thrown us in a bit of a tail spin loop. Hopefully with the help of our realtor, we won't be tail spinning through the end of June.